Thursday, June 19, 2008

Memes of boredom

Instead of writing profound and wonderful reviews of books I posted myspace bulletins all evening at the part-time job. Since I spent so much time on them, I thought I would share them with you.

Survey #1

Who were you with last night around 9:00pm?
On a grassy knoll

Where is your sister right now?
Ummm….Colorado or India. It's hard to keep track.

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
For a knight in shining armor to swoop down and rescue me from the evil dentist.

Is your phone a flip, slide or neither?
It is actually a super secret spy phone imbedded in my arm

Do you bite your fingernails?
Not unless I am REALLY stressed out. Something that you never want to see. Trust me.

Do you like Mexican food?

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Yes. I try to gather a large audience for these moments in life.

Do you watch a lot of TV?
TV is the opiate of the masses.

Are you hungry?
No. I had a yummy yogurt and carrot dinner in the car on the way to the part-time job. And yes, before you ask, I AM living the life.

Do you like your mom?
She's ok. I think I will keep her.

Are you tan?
Nope. Pasty white.

Do you have unlimited texting?
Super secret spy phones come with all the options.

Where were you at 9pm Sunday night?
What is this obsession with 9 pm? You got the wrong man, I tell you. I'm innocent. You'll never pin it on me.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
A stranger handed me a mysterious package with instructions to deliver it to the Russian or I would die a horrible death.

Have you kissed a boy in the last three days?
You all are just full of noisy questions today, aren't you?

How many hours did you sleep last night?
42 minutes.

What was the last text message you received?
From XO wanting to "entertain" me.

Does anyone call you babe?
Not if they want to live a full and happy life with all their parts intact.

What was the highlight of this week?
Well, the Russian was pretty cool.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
I took the world in a love embrace.

What was the last reason you went to the Doctor for?
To get a thorn out of my finger.

Do you have any birth marks?
Yes. I have the mark of "The Chosen One". All bow down and worship me. Ummm…. now people!

Who will you see the most this weekend besides family?
All my freaky friends.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Define relationship? I like to think that I have relationships with many people.

Do you drink tea?
Love it. It makes me feel very British.

Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have?
Not since becoming "The Chosen One"

What's the number one thing you want in life right now?
A super secret spy car.

Are you taken?
Where? If it is somewhere good, then yes.

Survey #2

1. What do you think happens after you die? I will be reincarnated as a superior being…no wait, that was last time.

2. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Whatever I want! I am a god at sea!

3. What do you wish you could be doing right now? The Twist

4. Would you marry for money? Depends? Is this someone who is hot, worships the ground I walk on, is uber-good in bed and follows me around buying me shoes? Then absolutely!

5. How long do you spend in the shower? Nuh uh. You aren't going to catch me with that one.
I've seen Psycho!

6. What are you wearing right now? I am naked in my skin.

7. What's the first thing you think about in the morning? Me :D Oh come on, like you don't?

8. And the last thing at night? Wow. It is dark behind my eyelids.

9. What type of toothpaste do you use? The kind with little bubbles….because EVERYTHING is better with bubbles.

10. Have you ever made out with a stranger? Define strange.

11. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? I like to think I am an optimist but sometimes I am very pessimistic about that choice.

12. Dominant or submissive? I am submissively dominant or dominantly submissive…take your pick.

13. Do you have psychic powers? Of course. I AM "The Chosen One"

14. If you could be any animal for a day, what would you be? Wouldn't that be cool if you could morph into an animal? But why just one? I want to be a panther and then maybe a dolphin and horse and ooooooh….a dinosaur. Definitely a dinosaur.

15. How often do you work out? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.

16. If you were going to be stranded on a desert island and you could only take 3 things, what would you take? My laptop, a solar battery and a wifi tower.

17. What superhero do you most identify with? I'm thinking I am like The Hulk but that is probably because of the green feet.

18. What is the greatest challenge you have ever faced? I laugh in the face of challenge….

19. What is the best book you've ever read? That is like picking my favorite family member! Can't be done.

20. What person have you known the longest? Me

21. Would you have sex with someone for a million dollars? What??? I'm thinking!

22. What are you addicted to? You, baby!

23. Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, with all of the men throwing themselves at me declaring their undying love, how could I not?

24. What are your thoughts on true love? It makes the world go round.

25. What magazines do you read most often? Mad Magazine

26. What's the wildest thing you've ever done? I stood in the middle of Central Park naked.

27. Would you rather divulge your deepest, darkest secret or stand naked in the middle of Central Park? I think we have covered this.

28. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Usually it is boys….or lack thereof.

29. What is your greatest fear? I fear giant spiders attacking the general population and me getting superhero powers and having to fight them.

30. What is your greatest hope? I hope that the Space Shuttle doesn't crash on my house cause that would be a bummer.

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